If you call, they will come
My word this year was “Rely.” After ending my relationship earlier this year — of which I was the one constantly relied on — I felt it was time to let go of some of that responsibility and rely on others for a change. So, that’s exactly what I did.
I called
upon friends to pull me away from lonely nights. I leaned on family to share my feelings and thoughts. These were all things I had always done by myself,
for the most part, and I have to say it was really refreshing. I wasn’t sharing
the burden alone anymore, because I had enlisted others to help.
There are
too many times I think that we try to take on everything by ourselves — because
we’ve been taught that that is what being strong looks like. I had to learn the
hard way that strength appears in many forms. I've realized that it takes a
strong person to admit when they’re not OK. All that time that I was trying to be strong by doing things on my
own I was actually at a really weak point in my life. And as ironic as it sounds, even though I
had imagined myself as the person whom others relied on, I was also relying on those people to need me — and once they didn’t anymore, I lost myself a little bit.
Furthermore, not
everything is about love and relationships.
I often find
myself being the listening ear to my friends and their problems — once again,
placing myself as the person to be relied on, to be needed — but when it came to my own life
and problems, I didn’t want to share my problems with anyone. It’s hard to talk about
the things that are out of your control, because you feel helpless. And it’s
true, most times, others won’t be able to help, but the act of releasing the junk that’s been clouding your mind is healthy for you.
I’ve been
learning to rely on others more, and I find myself becoming lighter throughout the
process. I see hope in the distance.
I’ve even
talked to a counselor — something I was completely against for a very long
time. It’s a tough thing, especially for
people who already harbor so much emotion — who feel so many things all at
once, all the time — but it’s not the end of the world and you’re not alone. If
you allow yourself to be open, you can bet that people will show up.
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i really liked this blog. It takes time to recover and to build a new stronger / healthier self. And like u mentioned, we really cant do those things on our own, we do need the love and support of others. Solid friendships really do make a big difference. I'm really glad to see you happy and having big smiles in all your pictures :)
ReplyDeleteWhen we're down and feeling weak, i think this is where we learn the most about ourselves. I can tell you've got an awesome family and great friends. You're never alone. I can see how they've made you stronger. I can see ur unwillingness to not give up and to pursue your best self. And high five for talking to a counselor! i know that takes a lot of courage.
"Furthermore, not everything is about love and relationships." that's actually really deep and well said.
mkay bye
Hey, thanks, Chris! Yea, it's definitely been a learning season for me, and giving up control is really tough some times, but it's been surprisingly rewarding. Hope all is well! Thanks for the support and encouraging thoughts.
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