Making Hard Choices

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Some seasons/chapters/paths test our character, will power and sanity. I don't know exactly how I've faired during these last few weeks, but I can say that it has been one of the hardest times of my life. Ending any season in life forces us to rethink our current situation and current selves. There is an inevitable urge to step back and reevaluate everything and everyone that has lead you to this point.

I've never considered myself a strong person. I'm easily affected by the mood and opinion of others. I tend to forget about my own needs at times, because I'm so worried about what — I feel — other people expect of me. I don't classify this as humility or selflessness, I see this is a personal flaw. If I had the backbone to stand up for myself more, I think I'd be a lot happier. Still, in this current situation, I've had to make the decision to choose myself over someone else. I can't say that it's been easy, because in all honesty, I've wanted to recant my declaration and revert back to how it was before my "bravery," but the next step after recognizing your weaknesses is to overcome them. 

I've gone through many heartbreaks before, and although this has been by far the hardest, I feel as if I've come to some sort of milestone. This couldn't have been possible without the wonderful people in my life. 

Last week I received surprise flowers, goodie bags, stuffed unicorns and handwritten letters of encouragement. I also was treated to a girl's night out of sushi, drinks and pool! I was forced to go out for a separate girl's night, which included dancing, homemade packaged saimin, a hangover and McDonald's breakfast. I am truly thankful for where I am and for the people that walk beside me. I hope that I can be as valuable and as important to these people's lives as they are to mine.

(Gifts from my wonderful coworkers!)

(Girl's Night Out with some old and new friends)

(Drinks and dinner at Doraku: Watermelon and Gin drink plus a bowl of ika and natto!)

Comments

  1. churmanderOctober 13, 2015 at 5:07 AM

    sounds like it's been a tough season lately
    but in the midst of it, God is our refuge, and our strength..He's our best medicine! He refines, renews, and heals us. don't forget to love yourself the way God does!

    ..it's okay to hurt, because i think that just means you deeply love
    you're a much stronger person than you give yourself credit for.
    believe in yourself. smile, drink coffee, be happy :)

    ReplyDelete

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