The Day After

Driving to work today I’ve realized that the island is back to normal. It’s as if it were a Monday today, everyone resentful and angry. I was cut off, tailed and harassed on the road today. The Christmas cheer has certainly gone and left with the 25^th.

I’m hoping that this is because everyone’s Christmas was SO wonderful that they absolutely dread going to work today more than other days. I know that my December 25^th was pretty close to perfect. My twin nephews were over, we opened presents together and then had a yummy dinner: Pork loin, stuffing and seafood scampi. For dessert mom made her famous pear pie and oatmeal cookies. My mom, sister and I enjoyed some wine (each of our own liking) and talked for the rest of the night, after a game of Power Ranger Monopoly, of course.

After cheersing to a great Christmas, we went to sleep in anticipation of the new year. My mom mentioned to me that 2014 was a good year for her. I’d like to say the same, but honestly, it’s been a year of transitioning for me. It’s like Part 1 of the last Harry Potter movie (Deathly Hollows), slow moving and boring, but obviously necessary as it was setting viewers up for Part 2. I’m guessing 2015 will be my Part 2? Hopefully.

My mom, sister and I do this thing where we choose a word for the new year, one that embodies what we want that year to be about, what we need to work on or what we want to remember throughout the course of that year. I’m still drawing a blank as to what I would like to focus on in 2015, but I do know that it won’t be a year of transitioning. I mean, we are constantly changing and growing, but I feel like 2015 will be about enduring rather than preparing.

I finally feel that I’m in a secure spot. I’ve grown some roots and now have to water and nourish what I’ve planted. I’ve never been a great gardener; all the attempts have ended in dried-out plants and wilted flowers. Gardening requires patience, something I lack severely. Still, I think that’s why it is important to remind myself what’s at stake. It is more than a few flowers, I’ve planted roots in my new “grown up” job and in a committed “grown up” relationship. These I don’t want to neglect or overlook. Therefore, I must water daily.

I am infamous for choosing every battle instead of passing on some and taking the en route to peace. “Pick your battles.” I’ve never listened to this advice, and feel that in 2015 I really, really should. There is so much time wasted on bickering and tears. Dating a future-lawyer has definitely improved my arguing skills, something I should not be proud of. And yet, I am and use my newly honed skills at every possible opportunity. I hope to be honorable rather than right this next year. How am I honoring those around me? Will this argument benefit the relationship and/or the situation? Let me find integrity through losing. 

Most importantly, in 2015, I want to be happy. I want to love myself again. I’ve been lost in all of the transitioning of 2014, that I’ve almost lost the passions that make me different, that make me my own person. Aside from the expert arguing, I usually try to please other people without realizing that I’m losing sight of my own character’s health. I will try to do what I want to more often, without being completely selfish. A little selfish is good, that way you are living YOUR life and not living a life that is dictated by others.

Just some food for thought. BON APETIT!