The fantastical life of Lynsey Beth

A big part of who I am is attributed to the fantastical. I played princess and dragons and wrote about mythical creatures and lands. I then went on to become a creative writing major in college. Now, I write for the newspaper and am forced to produce the truth in the most real, raw and factual way. It's often a struggle not to sway from reality, but not as hard as it is to do so in my real life. 

I’ve always been...dramatic. I appreciated the theatrical versions of everything, finding pleasure in the actual theatre and delving head first in all dramas aired on television. As an adult, however, this has its drawbacks. I tend to see a normal situation heightened right before me. Just imagine if the situation were a bad one, my reaction, my emotions, they all go haywire. Recently, my emotions have gotten the best of me. I am unable to function in a normal setting when even a little bit of stress presents itself. I have a hard time controlling my reactions and my temper. I am quick to judge. I am overly paranoid. I distrust friendly advice and reject any criticism, not matter the scope. 

I’ve come to realize that although “I was born this way,” past situations, relationships and events have made it worse. All the bad that has ever happened to me has affected the person that I am now, more so than it would affect any other person. This is not to say that the things I have experienced have not been horrible or terrible, but my mind’s lacking ability to deal properly with past problems and future ones – or even to heal from it – is scary and harmful to others, and to myself.

I recently purchased a book recommended to me about becoming more rational. It is called “A Guide to Rational Living,” and features the psychological advice and findings of Dr. Albert Ellis. I hope that this will help me, as the book has great reviews and the chapters seem to pinpoint truths in my life that I have been scared to face. I know that this book won’t solve the wars that I face daily within myself, ones that have been building since my inception (!), but I’m hoping that it can help; that it can be a start. 

My only hope is that I don’t lose my creativity because I am trying so hard to be practical. All I do know is that the bottom line is that there needs to be a better balance between the two.

With hope and all fingers crossed,

LB